A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, “Wait, I’m your husband!” She replies giving him a dirty look, “So why did you run?”
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A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, “It’s no good trying to outrun it. It’s catching up!”
The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, “I’m not trying to outrun the lion, I’m trying to outrun you!”
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the HR Officer asks a young engineer: “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The engineer replies; “I don’t mind if you start with Rs 100,000 a month, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer inquires: “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks’ vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say.”
The engineer sits up straight and says: “Wow! Are you kidding?”
The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
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